Ce Soir ou Jamais

tonight I write...or never

Tuesday, May 31

Ten on Tuesday

Ten Favorite Things to Snack On:

1. Genisoy bbq soy chips
2. Yin Yang peanuts from Trader Joe's
3. Kettle organic tortilla chips and San Juan salsa
4. Flatbread and hummous
5. Luna bars
6. Leftover pizza
7. Goat cheese and Holy Jalepeno spread on Breton crackers
8. Chocolate covered soy nuts
9. Tofutti Cuties
10. Combos cheddar cheese filled pretzels

Monday, May 30

Episode 2...Attack of the Mimes

Darian and I just got back from a spur of the moment trip to the NW Folklife Festival- a place to revel in face painting, guitar strumming, drum circles, and buskers from all over. The excitement for us? Darian was attacked by a group of mimes!! She was so cute and unsuspecting- dropping money into their basket to get them to act. Then suddenly they grabbed her, rustled her hair, hugged her tight thanking her for the change. Afterall, mime is money!

And me without my camera.

Sunday, May 29

Isn't it past your bedtime?

Yup...while I've been putzing on the computer, folding laundry, and other random crap around the house, Darian has been lounging in the Man Room (the TV room), eating chocolate covered soy nuts and watching a Garfield DVD. At 10:00 on a Sunday night.

Keep the kid up as long as you can. Note the cirles under her eyes...and her yard sale finds on the arm of the couch! She's a freak for asian chatchkeys!

Weekend observations for a Sunday evening

1. It's Memorial Day weekend and while most American families plan camping trips and all day bbq's, we keep it simple. We don't do a damn thing.

2. We had a heat advisory this past Friday which meant it was crotchpot cooking. That's right...I had schweaty balls. I happen to be your overweight Mommy, J Bo-D, and because of the excess padding I. Sweat. Profusely. And when my fluffy dog wants to sit on my lap whilst I sit outside, stickiness ensues. Yuck.

3. I cannot play tennis. I took Darian over to the court yesterday and attempted to serve her practice balls. I hit her twice- once in the face and once in the chest making her cry really hard. Fortunately she has a lot of forgiveness for someone with such lame aim as her mother.

4. I have no concept of the fast food drive through. Yesterday I went to Dairy Queen and after starring at the menu board for 5 minutes- I kid you not- I pulled forward, almost hitting the car in front of me, and ordered directly at the window. I pissed off *a lot* of heat sufferers in need of a frozen treat making them wait even longer for their orders.

5. I have really cool neighbors. The Wilsons had us over Friday night for sprinkler time and dinner and tonight the neighbors on the opposite end of the block are hosting their outdoor theater complete with Bose surround sound. We're bringing chips and salsa!

6. I have become too obsessed with my basement carpets. I have spent the last hour playing with my new toy- the Bissell Spotlifter.

7. I should get the child out of the house right now. Oh sure, we ran errands- Target, Party City, and Trader Joe's- but that was while we had a breeze and overcast. Time to slather on the sunscreen and make her play outside!

Beauty is in the bag- my girlie post

I'm a make-up and skin care freak...always have been. Ever since I was 17 and discovered Clinique and all the little freebies temptingly known as the GWP, I am hooked. And for the past 17 years, whenever there is some sort of special promotion for a line I like, I am usually at the counter purchasing some red lipstick or mascara to get my cosmetic bag filled with tiny goodies. Lancome is the one I like best and I have about 20 or so odd shaped bags and 70 mini Definicil mascaras and 40 tubes of Jezabel lipcolor. Really. I told you I was a freak for the GWP.

Right now, a generous gift with purchase is being promoted at, you guessed it, my home away from home Nordstrom. Purchase *anything* in Beauty totally $75 or more and get a tote bag filled with goodies. Goodies such as pedicure slippers and toe separators. You know I need to spend me some good cash to get some toe separators! Uh-Huh! I used to work at Nordstrom where one of my benefits was a tasty discount. So not only would I get my GWP's, I would also get my fancy cosmetics at a discount. Before I left, I made sure that I was well stocked with makeup so that I could slowly prepare myself for the day that I have to pay full price for moisturizer.

That day has come. After scraping through the bottle, and squeezing all that I could out of my samples from GWP's, I am officially out of my magic moisturizer. I clicked into Nordstom's Lancome boutique and litterally gasped at the price of this moisturizer. It's $60!!!! $60!! That's what we without discounts have to pay for this stuff that makes my skin look and feel like it did when I was 11?!!

While that still leaves $15 left to get to the qualifier, I'm torn. Do I order the moisturizer and and a Perscriptives mascara (my new faves, sorry Lancome) and that's it for new makeup? Or, do I order mascara, a different moisturizer that is half the price and still as great, *and* a jar of eye cream? Or do I just say screw it and go to Target to get the Loreal version of the same things for 1/3 less- but no GWP?!! And what happens if I try the Loreal and my skin breaks out? I certainly can't make a return at Target like I can at Nordstrom.

Oh, GAWD!!! The trauma I go through to have lovely skin.......!!!!!

Thursday, May 26

5 for Friday

OK, so it's not Friday, but I am tired, want to go to bed, and will most likely not hit the computer first thing tomorrow morning. (I didn't do it this morning!) Anyway, Tracey wants our clique to write about 5 annoyances from this week. I had already prepared a 5 list, but with my own topic. Here's mine, then hers. Please choose one, or both, and tell me your 5 things....

5 things I don't do often enough that I really should

1. floss
2. blog well
3. the robot
4. pepper my conversations with the word 'assclown'
5. drink pinot noir

5 annoyances this week (yes, you only get 5 to complain about!)

1. Janine
2. My co-worker telling practices, 'go to wwwamerinet dot..' It's www DOT amerinet. DOT!
3. The damn dog's barking and incessant need to lick my hand.
4. Having to spend 45 minutes in a salon to get a brow wax. Yes, a 45 minute brow wax. I will post on that soon; rest assured the time spent there had nothing to do with how much hair is on my face!
5. My stained carpets. And No- I will never post a picture!

Tuesday, May 24

Another fun thing to add to a blog

Short, badly shot movie of dog with crazy voice overs provided by Darian and Mommy

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

A Taste of the Darkside

Darian and Scott just got home from the Cinerama where they screened episode (I can't keep track) of (that space movie everyone but me gets into). (I know! I just can't get into it, but I have seen every movie at least 5 times!)

Anyway, when Scott said that Annikin was very bad, Darian added, "He was so bad that he really needs to be put in time out!"

Darian's take on it: she really enjoyed any and all scenes with R2-D2 and hid her face during all the other scenes. Or so that's what Scott said.

Scott's take on it? Well, you will have to come over for a glass of wine to find out.

That is....if you really give a care!

Another open memo to WA state licence #JANINE


You did it again! You cut off the motorists who were waiting to get onto I-5. And this time I caught that you don't drive a Camry, you drive a Dodge Stratus. Gawd, you are such an assclown. The next time I see you motoring down Madison, I'm cutting *you* off and giving you a piece or my mind. OK, I'm not that aggresive, but be prepared for some horn honking and middle finger waving.

You assclown.

Ten on Tuesday

10 Best Performances in a Movie by a Child.

I have to get to work, so this is all I can think of right now. Will fill in the rest later. OK, back from work so have had time to think of 7-10.

1. Drew Barrymore- E.T.
2. Dakota Fanning- I Am Sam
3. Leonardo DiCaprio- What's Eating Gilbert Grape
4. Molly Ringwald- Sixteen Candles
5. Natalie Portman- The Specialist
6. Jodie Foster- Taxi Driver
7. Judy Garland- The Wizard of Oz
8. Tina Majorino- Corrina, Corrina
9. Kirsten Dunst- Interview with the Vampire
10. Haily Joel Osmet- The 6th Sense

Monday, May 23

Good things come in 3's!!

It's a 3 meme:
I was tagged by Lora.

3 names I go by:
J_Bo, Mommy, Janet

3 screen-names I've had:
J_Bo, monkeyhill3, boyerof3

3 physical things I like about myself:
my face, my hands, my sense of humor (OK, I know it's not technically *physical*!)

3 physical things I dislike about myself:
my stomach, my cellulite, my few gray hairs

3 parts of my heritage:
Russian Jew, German, and...Russian Jew!

3 things I am wearing right now:
black hoodie, black yoga pants, pink fuzzy slippers

3 favorite bands/musical artists:
Jane's Addiction, Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Go! Team (a new fave!)

3 favorite songs:
This one is way too hard, so I will choose 3 songs that I have listening to over and over again in the car: E-Pro by Beck; The Power is On by the Go! Team; Galang by MIA

3 things I want in a relationship:
mutual respect, trust, and humor

3 physical things about people of the opposite sex that appeal to me:
eyes, dark hair, and strong hands

3 of my favorite hobbies:
travelling, reading, and shopping!

3 things I want to do really badly right now:
lay back down, drink some water, and change the channel

3 things that scare me:
right wing republicans, ignorance, horror films

3 of my everyday essentials:
coffee, keys, and kid!

3 careers you have considered or are considering:
forensic dentistry, nanny, rockette

3 places you want to go on vacation:
Maui, south of France (Nice and Cannes), NYC

3 kids' names you like:
Darian (!), Levi, Ruby

3 things you want to do before you die:
hot air balloon ride, skydive, and ensure my daughter will be OK after I am dead and gone.

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy:
Can I answer how I am like a gay boy? I have good taste, like to go dancing, and have a lover named Scott

3 ways I am stereotypically a chick:
my love of shoes, how I cry easily to get my way, and I can't throw or catch a ball

3 celeb crushes:
Hmm...no real crushes but I really like Ellen DeGeneres, Johnny Depp, and Robert DeNiro

All done! I am supposed to tag three other people, but I am such a loser, I don't know anyone but K and Lora to tag, and Lora already tagged me!

Sunday, May 22

Peer pressure

While we are talking about pink hair and punk rock salons (which happened to be playing the Smoosh album while Darian was there!), Darian cut school last week. It was all Scott's fault. He let her play hooky and both of them came to my office and we had lunch together. I told my co-workers that we were getting her to dye her hair and cut school so that once she is in high school and her friends want to do it, she can say, "Oh, that is totally elementary school! I was ditching class and dying my hair when I was, like 7!"

Tuesday she will be cutting out early to go see Episode 3 with her daddy.

That guy is such a bad influence!

Curl up and dye

Darian has been asking for pink hair since she was 6. Now that she is almost 8 (7 &11/12 to be exact!) I said, eh, why not? Let's get some pink hair. So last week we went to a punk rock salon where she got a cut and color. No, not all of her hair is Cupcake Pink- she simply wanted stripes so as not to look like a *complete* freak.

And isn't she sweet? She blends right into this secret garden we discovered!

Now, I have gotten a few "You let your seven year old her dye her hair?!" comments and my response has been, "Of course! It's only hair! I've been begging her to get a tattoo with me and this is the closest she will come to changing her appearance."

C'mon people- it's only hair! And, she has no desire to get a tattoo. Yet.

Gettin' my culture, whether I like it or not

Scott and I had an experience in Venice that we still talk about today. While out dining, we overheard another group of Americans talking about their travels. My mother-in-law asked if they were from Texas (where she grew up and the majority of Scott's family lives) since their accents were so strong. We learned they were from Alabama and they just got in from Florence. I will never forget what one lady said to us about Florence:

In thick southern drawl "You know, they give you culture there whether you like it or not!"

That said, every year when it's subscription time (Opera, Broadway at the Paramount, 5th Avenue Theater, Seattle Children's theater), we peruse the flyers and mutter in our southern drawls how we are going to get culture. Whether we like it or not!

Check out the 2005-2006 subscriber series. I am excited for each one!


Unfortunately, I'm not Mrs. Moneybags and don't have an extra $1500 or so sitting around to get season tickets to all my favorite places. But, I will most certainly get tix to see Annie, Wicked, and the Wedding Singer. And of course, Darian and I will do a season at the SCT.

What are some cultural experiences that you are looking forward to?

Saturday, May 21

Seen, heard, said

Last night at the opera, the row behind me, second intermission. 3 elderly ladies chat about their lives:

"I think I'm getting Alzheimer's. I just can't remember anything of late. I got these drops from the doctor and put one in when I was in the car. And then when it was time to take another, I couldn't find them. I searched, and searched, and do you know where I found them? Back in the box, in the Bartells bag, in the trash! Why would I throw them away? I hope it's not Alzheimer's."

"Oh, Betty, you know what it is? It's your mind going so fast. You are thinking so much that you can't possibly catch up with what is going on in your mind!"

"Is that what it is, Maryann?" chimes in the third, who did more listening than talking.

"Of course it is- you just think so fast and then you can't catch up. Oh, Betty, you have such the prettiest dainty hands. Mine are old and vainy."

"Well, I use that tanning creme so I don't look sick."

"Oh, do I look sick? My hands are just so old and vainy."

"No, you don't look sick. You have nice hands. Did you hear what happened about that finger found in the chili? There's going to be a lawsuit."

"Oh, you just can't listen to anything on the TV anymore. I just don't listen anymore. It's all trash."

"Well, that Rick Steves has a nice show."

"You know, he goes to my niece's church!"

"Rick Steves is Jewish!"

"No he's not, Betty, he goes to my niece's church!"

"Oh, on his show you get to see such nice places like Switzerland and Bavaria."

"I just don't listen to TV anymore. I hope it's not Alzheimers."

Thursday, May 19

Another photo op

OK, I had to share another one. This is Ellie! With a face this cute, how can I stay mad at him?

On my honor, I will try....

Tonight I sit in the parking lot of the church wondering why Darian and I are the only ones present for the 6:30 meeting. After sitting in the car for 10 minutes, I call one leader. No answer. I call another leader. "Oh, yeah, we leaders have been so busy with our lives that we decided to cancel the meeting tonight since we are all going camping tomorrow. We told Darian at the last meeting. We didn't even think to send an e-mail since we told all the girls at the last meeting"

OK, at the last meeting, you handed me a potted plant and said see you in 2 weeks. Nothing about a cancellation. Then you e-mail me about some patch requirements and I reply back saying I will see you THIS THURSDAY! Another leader sends an e-mail reminder requiring a read receipt for tomorrow's camping trip. I reply back saying see you THIS THURSDAY and no one, NO ONE can reply back and tell me the meeting for THIS THURSDAY has been cancelled?! Can we please have some consistency and follow through? This is the second time this season you have cancelled a meeting and/or event and failed to communicate it with the rest of the troop. Wait, you do tell the others since they live in your neighborhood, go to your kids school and, see you at the Y. Darian and I do not live in your end of west seattle, go to the Y, or attend your school. You, as a leader, should realize this and keep the lines of communication open. You certainly remind me when Darian is behind on her dues!

Darian has been with these girls for 3 years and sadly, not one of them is her real friend outside of the every other week meetings. No one has ever come over for a play date, asked for a play date, or actively seeked out our friendship. I've offered my home for meetings, cookie storage, and parties and have always been politely turned down. I've decided that next season, we are switching troops.

Photo op

I'm testing out how to add pictures to my blog! Here is one of the family. It really is the MonkeyHill 3! Well, 4 if you count the dog. :)

Wednesday, May 18


number of dollars needed to spend on Visa Debit card to get a round trip ticket to Hawaii

I just got my Alaska Airlines mileage statement and as of May 6, I have 38,688 miles. 40,000 gets you a free roundtrip ticket to Hawaii or Europe. With Maui planned for Feb 2006, one of us will be flying free.


Yes, yes, I know all about what Alaska did to its employees (my boss' husband is a pilot and just last week had to agree to a 20% pay cut).

Nonetheless, I still can't help being joyful knowing that I am just dollars away from a free ticket.

(note to self: Jinnkies! The numbers rearranged are the first of the Fibonacci Sequence!)

And the list goes on....

My husband hates my honey-do lists, so I have stopped leaving them. Actually, I've given up on leaving lists around the house, on scraps of paper and post its. But I haven't stopped making lists.

A couple months ago, I discovered this list site. I must admit, I haven't even come close to listing 43 things and I rack my brain trying to come up with things I wish to accomplish ( I really enjoy the 'I've done this!' part of the site, though!)

Last week, my friend sent me a link to 5ives. This site had me giggling at my desk at work and really sets me off task. If you start reading his lists, you may not return to me. :)
Speaking of tasks, I use this CRM site at work to keep track of my day. Sad, yes, I will log in before I step into the office so I know what I have to do that day.

And today, I was perusing blogs, when I discovered Ten on Tuesday- a random topic where you list 10 things. I like the idea of this type of list a lot more than my work task list and wishing lists! Technically it's not Tuesday, but I am going to do this week's topic a day late. (I don't think I am supposed to expand on my list- it only asks for what not why- but I like explaining things.)

10 Brand Names You Can't Live Without:
1-Honda Civic (it's the car I bought after gas prices went up, and believe me, I am saving a ton on gas!)
2- Lancome Primordial lotion (this is some sort of magic moisturizer-I have no fine lines and I look refreshed moments after my skin drinks it in- and it has an SPF!)
3- Seasonal birth control ( yes, I was on depo for years, but this is one pill I don't mind taking. And I only get my period once a season!)
4- Tillamook cheddar cheese (cheese is the stuff that binds and my family cannot go without having a hunk of it in the fridge at all times)
5-Costco brand cat food (the only food my cats will eat! and the dog loves it, too!)
6- Nordstrom-online, in store, and the Rack (a girl love shoes and this is the place to get the best)
7-Microsoft Money (I learned how to balance my checkbook with this program and use it just about daily!)
8- Viva Glam lipstick by MAC (when all else fails, I grab my standby shade of red for a fabulous look)
9- Goody hair bands (they are the only brand who makes a band thick enough for all my hair!)
10-North DECI4200 disposable earplugs (I never have to listen to my husband's snores again!)

So, on Tuesdays, watch out for a list from me. And you don't have to do anything but read!

Saturday, May 14

Oh Sh*t!

I live in a house that was built in 1948. For Seattle, it's kind of an old house. When we purchased it 2 years ago, we remodeled the areas necessary to make it liveable. While we did aquire all new plumbing in the upstairs bathroom, we didn't have the funds to purchase this gem of a toilet. (And as I learned, plumbing and fixtures are 2 different things!!)

From time to time, we pay the price. Take this morning, for example: having only one toilet and 3 people who wake and need bladder relief at the same time, we tend to forget how long it takes for the tank to refill. Sleepily flushing while the tank is still filling generally causes the dreaded overflow.

And if you are emptying more than just your bladder, the overflow can be absolutely mortifying.

I will spare you the details, but our leisurely Saturday has started off with expelatives screamed, a mop, and a big bucket of bleach. A big shout out to my husband who took on cleanup. For that, I am personally purchasing him the pressurized toilet of his dreams for his birthday this year.

An open memo to WA state License plate #JANINE

Janine (I suppose that is your name since the license plate announces such, and you are a female motorist):

Please be aware that driving west on Madison and being in the outer right turn lane to travel north on 6th does not mean that you have access to the inner lane at the same time.

Janine, honey, I know how important it is for you and your gold Camry to get on the freeway right at the start of rush hour (4:07pm daily!), but stop cutting off other motorists! Not only is it agressive driving, ie.- against.the.law.- but it pisses off everyone in line waiting to get to the onramp. AND, you piss off the people behind you in the outer lane who simply want to travel north, not cut off other cars like you wish to do.


Sunday, May 8

Gettin' Center Lane-d

My husband is so funny....he and I were out to dinner the other night when he told me that from time to time, he center lanes people he likes. (For those who do not know, my husband works here.)

And friends will stop by and visit him on board, especially, if they have been center laned.

"You *center lane* people? What the heck does that mean?" I ask the other night as we are drinking wine and having nachos.

"You know, " he explains, " When someone gets on the boat, I send them down the center lane so they can be one of the first passengers off."

"They get center laned by you? Center laned? I had no idea this was the name of one of your duties!"

Center Laned! How corny is that?! What terms do you use at work that could not be used in any industry other than yours?