Sometimes, I just lose faith in humankind

Believe it or not, I'm that really optimistic person who truly thinks that people have good intentions. People want to do good things, be kind and helpful to others, and not be completely selfish. Don't they? Lately, I'm beginning to question my optimism.

The other day I was in a local Italian coffee shop for my weekly dose of chocolate gelato. It was a busy afternoon and the register closest to the door was closed and customers were requested to place their orders and pay toward the back of the cafe. I stood in a semi-formed line being the 5th one from the register. A person working there opened the front register to ease the line, and she decided to help the first person who walked in the door- not any of the people who had been in line. I questioned this, as did the person behind me and we were hushed by the cashier, "I'm helping these people. You will just have to wait."

"But that is what I have been doing!! Why are you helping people who just walked in the door?"

She ignored my question and then decided to help the man 2 people behind me. Both the person behind me and I said that, actually, the person in front of me was to be next, not this other man. That person? She didn't really care. So I laughed and said, "I'm pregnant. I'd just like my gelato fix." The man then said to me, "So what? My wife is pregnant, too," and turned to the cashier to order his coffee. The person who accompanied him told him she was embarrassed to be seen with him. But did she offer to let me order? Did the cashier say anything? DID I SAY ANYTHING? I let it go. Afterall, there are more important things to hope for in this world- like that guy burning himself on his coffee- and frankly, I was enjoying the time I was away from my desk.

My husband was in the U-Scan checkout line of the grocery store. At this particular store, as I am sure is protocol in others, one line forms and when a station opens, the next person in line makes their purchase. My husband and several others had been waiting when a woman who must not have seen the line (I'm about benefit of the doubt, too!) stepped up to the next open station. My husband was not next, but the man in front of him politely let her know that there was a line and he was next. She told him that if he wanted her spot, he could pay for her groceries. And she proceeded with her scanning and no one said a word to her, though many comments were muttered under breaths.

I get to the office rather early in the morning- a few minutes or so before 6am. In the neighborhood of my office, there are a handful of free parking spots. Yes! Free all day parking in Seattle! Yesterday I happened to watch a man get into his truck that was parked in one of those free spots. I pulled up next to him to ask if he was leaving so that I could have his spot. I rolled down my window and started waving, then honked. I knew he saw me, yet did not turn in my direction. Instead, he mouthed the words 'FUCK OFF'. He had no idea why I was pulled up next to him! He didn't even look at me!! I honked. And then I honked some more. After giving my bozo the clown squeaker of a horn 25 more pushes and him *still* not looking in my direction- though a passerby asked me how they could help me and I said, 'Well, I'm trying to get this guys' attention!'- I finally had it. I drove away being sure to wave goodbye with my middle finger. Someone in my office said they knew who that guy was and he just likes to sit in his truck. Being an ass.

I think you are getting the picture, but I will close with one final anecdote. In front of my office is a pedestrian crosswalk. In fact, it's a pedestrian friendly neighborhood as it plays host to several art galleries, not to mention the city's two sports stadiums. How anyone can speed with folks walking about is beyond me, but it happened not 4 days ago. I was in the middle of said cross walk when a car came speeding toward me. I started to scream, ''Stop! Stop!,' while holding out an arm, but the car kept coming. Had I not jumped back, I would have been hit, and I would not be here to blog about it. The driver of the car? HE GAVE ME THE FINGER!! I actually got a little emotional after that. I called my husband in near tears to rant about what had happened and how I am really starting to lose faith in humankind.

I'm not going off about political agendas or the state of the world as I see it. Those things madden the hell out of me. But to see such apathy and selfishness on a local, everyday level just baffles me. These are my neighbors: the people in my office building, the folks down the street shopping at the same store, the cafe I frequented daily before getting pregnant.

What's happening? Why can't people be accountable for their mistakes and oversights? Why do they have to be so rude?