Ce Soir ou Jamais

tonight I write...or never

Wednesday, February 23

Is it time?

Brushing off the dust to find my blog......

Friday upon arrival home from work, a call came in from Darian's friend Alex Doubt. Her parents said that it was OK for Darian to come over and spend the night. Darian spend the night elsewhere in West Seattle? What was her mommy to do? Her daddy already left for work, so a long needed date was out of the question. Her friends, well, not one of her friends is a spur of the moment person so she had no one to enjoy a decaf espresso and conversation. She overstayed her welcome at the Doubt house talking about funding for public school programs, the sensitive side of only child girls, and hand knotted wool rugs. She drove away from the lovely Admiral neighborhood questioning how the rest of her evening would fare. Craving a really big cheeseburger, she went shopping instead, acquiring a new living room lamp and a funky floor mat for the dog's bowl. She was asleep by 9:30.

The next morning, after telling herself she did not need to be up at 4:45, she made coffee and chatted long distance with her mother until 10. Knowing her daughter would not be home for another hour, she cleaned all the spots missed by her housecleaner days before- the windows- grumbling the whole time that next cleaning session she leave a note so that she gets her money's worth. (Darian can clean her own room!) The house cleaned, the dog walked, and the laundry sorted, she felt alone and bored. Oh, there was more work to be done around the house- the outside of the windows!- but is that how she really wanted to spend her totally free/totally me time? Feeling like a loser that she could not find anything to hold her interest away from her family, the doorbell rang. Darian was home! She was clutching her blankie and bear claiming to be 'still sleepy'. (She had stayed up past 11 and woke at 6am!) Mommy followed her wishing to hear about her night with her dear friend to find that her child was sound asleep.

Alone again.


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